Artistically Challenged

My wife is very artistic. She can make any room a bit more homey and welcoming in 3 seconds flat. She's like Martha Stewart without the rap sheet (although I bet it's nicely pressed).

She paints. She decorates. She expresses herself artistically.

Me? Not so much.

I mean, just look at this web page. Oi.

I'm so artistically challenged I think it should be considered a disability. My standard response to any decorating choice my wife give me is "I like the blue one." Doesn't matter if we're talking about about flower vases or candle holding thingies. Doesn't matter if the choices she's giving me aren't even blue.

When I was 5 years old and in kindergarten, we were all assigned the daunting task of drawing a self-portrait.

I drew and drew. I colored. I made thoughtful frowny-faces at the page and drew some more. This was my masterpiece. It was my best artistic creation ever, and I am including everything I've ever done since then, too.

Our teacher was making the rounds, inspecting and praising our work.

I squirmed in my seat, anxious to hear her thoughts.

She paused at my desk.

"Ricky, stay on task. No drawing airplanes."

Are you artistic?



Joseph said...

I have long said that I was blessed in the area of performing arts (music, drama, spoken word, etc.), but had almost no talent whatsoever in the area of visual arts (drawing, painting, etc.). Recently my wife and I did a painting class at a place where you spend two hours sipping wine and duplicating a painting at the instruction of the painter her-/himself. Mine turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I think it must have been the wine.

Ricky Anderson said...

Ooh, performing arts.

Yeah, that'll be it's own post.

Sgt. Wolverine said...

This should tell you all you need to know: I like being a photographer because I just need to frame what's already there. I excel at using existing elements creatively; I fail at creating elements.

Sgt. Wolverine said...

Okay, so...maybe "excel" was too strong a word. I hate to sound like I'm boasting -- honestly, I'd rate my photographic skills in the "decent" range (as working pros go). That means you should go back and re-read the last sentence this way:

"I can use existing elements creatively; I fail at creating elements."

Obviously I also fail at reading my comments carefully before posting them.

Ricky Anderson said...

Bah on you, Sarge. You're creative and you know it.

Boasting is different from stating fact.

Boasting: I make the best pizza in the world and you don't.

Fact: I eats a lotta pizza.

Isaiah said...

I honestly don't know. I guess it depends on the definition of art. Artistic - like we define a child's fingerpaintings, or Artistic - pay lots of money to see art.
I definitely don't have the talent for the latter, but I know some of what I've done is "up on the fridge" in God's eyes.
So, uh... I guess that yeah, in some sense, I am. I suppose that its all in the eyes of the Artist.

Some Guy said...

I like the blue one too.

Sgt. Wolverine said...

Why'd you have to say pizza? Now I'm hungry! For pizza, of course.