My favorite teacher in high school was Mrs. Montoya. She taught the business course for upperclassmen.
She was firm but fair. She was kind yet challenging.
She gave me grace when I didn't deserve it because she saw something in me I didn't yet know was there.
She opened doors for me to opportunities of a lifetime. She helped me land a position at Intel. I was a 17-year-old with a job at a Fortune 100 company. That still boggles my mind.
She took a slacker who was king of doing the bare minimum and convinced me to join the Business Professionals of America and go to the local and state competitions. I took 5th place in the state for web design.
She worked as hard on our projects as we did. I remember groups of us arranging project papers on her coffee table while she fed her family in the kitchen, tossing helpful advice to us as needed.
She cared more than she needed to. She did more than any reasonable person would ask.
And she loved it.
My mom is a teacher, at least for today. She's retiring, and today is her last day.
She's left her mark on countless of kids over the decades. Kids with promise; kids with problems.
I'm proud to know she is someone's Mrs. Montoya.
A lot of someones.
Congratulations, Mom.
Who's left a mark on you?
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Changeup, Chapter 12
"It's all set, Joe."
"Thanks, Mike. I'm glad you're handling this. I wouldn't know who to trust otherwise."
"Known you since you came up to my knee, Joe. I'm glad to help you through this anyway I can. The trust is set up in your name, just like your dad directed in his will."
"What about Mom?"
"He left her his retirement accounts. The house is paid for and she'll receive monthly payments. She's fine."
"I still feel like I'm stealing from her."
Mike laughed.
"Don't, Joe. Your dad wanted it this way."
"But Mom said he thought the stock certificates were worthless."
"He did, at first. Then when he saw me about his retirement accounts, he mentioned them. Said his dad had held on to them as a lesson for him. Never trusted banks or investments after the crash. He lost everything, you know."
"I've heard the stories."
"I told your dad they were worth quite a bit. He said he wanted to leave them to you. Didn't even want to know the amount. Just wanted to know you'd be fine."
"This is crazy. I'll be more than fine!"
Mike laughed again.
"I know, Joe. Have fun."
.
"Thanks, Mike. I'm glad you're handling this. I wouldn't know who to trust otherwise."
"Known you since you came up to my knee, Joe. I'm glad to help you through this anyway I can. The trust is set up in your name, just like your dad directed in his will."
"What about Mom?"
"He left her his retirement accounts. The house is paid for and she'll receive monthly payments. She's fine."
"I still feel like I'm stealing from her."
Mike laughed.
"Don't, Joe. Your dad wanted it this way."
"But Mom said he thought the stock certificates were worthless."
"He did, at first. Then when he saw me about his retirement accounts, he mentioned them. Said his dad had held on to them as a lesson for him. Never trusted banks or investments after the crash. He lost everything, you know."
"I've heard the stories."
"I told your dad they were worth quite a bit. He said he wanted to leave them to you. Didn't even want to know the amount. Just wanted to know you'd be fine."
"This is crazy. I'll be more than fine!"
Mike laughed again.
"I know, Joe. Have fun."
.
Using Your Toddler For Fun and Profit
Our waitress wasn't her usual happy self.
She didn't smile as she seated us, not even at Evan as he pointed at each bulbous light in the empty dining room and squealed, "HI, BALLOON!"
"She's sad, Evan. You'd better flirt with her so she's happy enough to bring us the good food and not the heat lamp leftovers."
"Train choo-choo fishy Uncle Bob drive?"
"Exactly, Son."
When she came around to take our order, Evan snagged one of her many dangling bracelets.
"Pretty?", he asked as he stared up at her.
"Aw, thank you!"
Evan pointed to the order pad she held in her other hand. "Please paper pen drawing?"
"You want to draw on my order pad with my pen?"
"Thank you, okay!"
"Oh, well...I guess since you thought I was offering..."
We got the desired smiles from our waitress.
And the good food.
What have you used your (or someone else's) toddler for?
.
 |
| That's the sun. And a tractor. He was adamant. |
She didn't smile as she seated us, not even at Evan as he pointed at each bulbous light in the empty dining room and squealed, "HI, BALLOON!"
"She's sad, Evan. You'd better flirt with her so she's happy enough to bring us the good food and not the heat lamp leftovers."
"Train choo-choo fishy Uncle Bob drive?"
"Exactly, Son."
When she came around to take our order, Evan snagged one of her many dangling bracelets.
"Pretty?", he asked as he stared up at her.
"Aw, thank you!"
Evan pointed to the order pad she held in her other hand. "Please paper pen drawing?"
"You want to draw on my order pad with my pen?"
"Thank you, okay!"
"Oh, well...I guess since you thought I was offering..."
We got the desired smiles from our waitress.
And the good food.
What have you used your (or someone else's) toddler for?
.
Interview With the Honest Toddler
Today I have the honor of sharing with you a rare interview with the Honest Toddler. If you're not familiar with the Honest Toddler, then I forgive you for not following my advice, but only if you immediately go fix your errant ways.
Here. We. Go!
--
My son Evan doesn't like juice (even the red kind). Should I take him to the doctor?
First try Hawaiian Punch. It's basically melted Jolly Ranchers.Sometimes my son will beg for something - and then throw it on the ground when I give it to him. What am I doing wrong?
Why is Evan afraid of our neighbor's 6" tall mutt, but not other things, like traffic?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What's your favorite bedtime stall tactic?
What's your favorite book?
Evan turns two in August. What should we get him for his birthday?
What else should we get Evan for his birthday?
.
Don't Lick the Minivan by Leanne Shirtliffe, Who Is the Author of the Book Titled "Don't Lick the Minivan"
Leanne Shirtliffe is hilarious, and not just because she's Canadian.
She's a teacher, mother of twins and a newly published author.
Her book is called "Don't Lick the Minivan - and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids".
I was only two chapters in when I started making a mental list of people I knew who should read it. Leanne is so funny that even when she's talking about pregnancy stuff, she can keep me turning the pages.
I made my wife read a chapter. This is not unusual. I have to make my wife read anything I recommend to her. I push so much stuff on her she grows numb to my suggestions and tunes me out, but this time I got her to read a bit. She was laughing out loud in 30 seconds flat. That's huge - she's a tough critic.
The hard cover and audio versions are out now, and the Kindle version will be out the 22nd. Do yourselves a favor and pick this one up right away. I really enjoyed it.
.
She's a teacher, mother of twins and a newly published author.
Her book is called "Don't Lick the Minivan - and Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say to My Kids".
I was only two chapters in when I started making a mental list of people I knew who should read it. Leanne is so funny that even when she's talking about pregnancy stuff, she can keep me turning the pages.
I made my wife read a chapter. This is not unusual. I have to make my wife read anything I recommend to her. I push so much stuff on her she grows numb to my suggestions and tunes me out, but this time I got her to read a bit. She was laughing out loud in 30 seconds flat. That's huge - she's a tough critic.
The hard cover and audio versions are out now, and the Kindle version will be out the 22nd. Do yourselves a favor and pick this one up right away. I really enjoyed it.
.
Things I've Given Evan That His Momma May or May Not Know About
- Salsa
- This one was a winner.
- He likes it everywhere. Doesn't matter how spicy. He'll make a face and dig back in. He holds his chip proudly and says "DIPIT!"
- Coffee
- This was a REAL winner. I only gave him a couple sips, but that kid will keep Starbucks in business for years to come.
- No real reaction to this. Figured I'd be chasing him around like crazy.
- Beer
- Just kidding. But I did rinse a bottle once and let him pretend it was a boat during bath time.
- No, YOU'RE a bad parent.
- Grapefruit Juice
- This was NOT a winner, but he was very polite about it. He scrunched up his face and shook his head, but didn't spit it out.
- He immediately handed his cup to me and said, "For daddy?"
What have you done that someone else would disapprove of so you didn't tell them but you can tell me because we'll both think it's funny and the Internet's a secret anyway?
.
Interview With Bunmi Laditan, Author of The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting
Remember that book I raved about last week, The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting?
Today I have a real treat for you. Bunmi Laditan is the comedic genius behind The Honest Toddler. She has graciously agreed to play along for an interview.
And stay tuned - The Honest Toddler stops by in person on Friday for a rare Q & A...
--
What prompted you to start tweeting as the Honest Toddler?
The realities and ridiculous struggles that come out of everyday life with my then 2-year old. She was at her peak defiance and I was, frankly, emotionally exhausted by the battle of the wills over socks, pants, and the proper way to cut toast.
When did you realize the idea was a hit?
Two or three weeks into tweeting when I saw the response from parents. I couldn't believe how many people were consistently following. It made me feel normal to know that others were in similar situations with their little...blessings.
When did you decide to extend the idea into a book?
I received an email from a literary agent about 5-6 months into tweeting and jumped at the chance. Being a published author has been a dream of mine for a very long time. Words can't describe how I felt reading the words, "We think this could be a book."
Why did you keep your identity a secret for so long?
I felt like interjecting myself would take away from the fun. It wasn't about it, it was about the character and the fun. I feel like there's enough "Hey look what I'm doing!" in the world and just wanted to keep this pure if that makes any sense.
I'm a dad of one, and I can't even find time to find my car keys (Note to self: Check refrigerator.). As a mom of two, where do you find time to write?
That's always the struggle for writers, especially when it isn't your full-time gig. I once lamented to a mentor of mine Chellie Campbell about parenting making it impossible to write and she told me what Toni Morrison said when posed with the same question. She said she wrote in "the edges of the day." At the time Morrison was a single mom living near the poverty line so I knew I was out of excuses. I write when I find the time. Tweeting only takes literally a minute. A mental commitment has to be made on some level. I often feel as if the struggle to find "time to write" is just a veil covering a greater fear of not being able to write or not knowing what to write. Inspiration is fleeting and inconsistent. At some point we all have to just sit down and put pen to paper...or fingers to keyboard.
What's your next project?
My 7 year-old's birthday party!
How has your family supported you in your writing?
They provide material. Ha! People always say "write what you know" and what I know is family life so I tend to stay in that area.
You always take time to respond to tweets and such. Why?
While I rarely @reply, I like to favorite and DM because I really want people to know how much I appreciate them. I wouldn't have a book without all of my awesome followers. The responses to the tweets keep me in stitches.
What do you attribute your sense of humor to?
I'm not sure. I love great writing. Growing up, we didn't have much money so while my friend were watching Nick at Night at Clarissa Explains it All, I was watching MASH, Perry Mason, and Dick Tracy...in black and white on a very small television with a wire hanger on the back. The dialogue on these shows, it was like watching people dance with words. I still remember just being in awe, especially with MASH and how these characters delivered incredibly well-written, intelligent jokes.
Where did you pick up your love of writing?
It was born out of a love of reading. Once my parents introduced me to the public library- FREE BOOKS- I was lost to a world of fantasy. Babysitter's Club Books, Judy Blume, R.L Stine. My dad is a Shakespeare freak so I was also familiar with Othello and Macbeth early on.
What other things do you dream of doing?
I dream of owning some kind of publishing company wherein I can help launch unknown authors. Not necessarily a traditional publishing house but some kind of media platform that allows me to help writers craft and bring attention to their books.
What's your favorite part of your own book?
I particularly love the "Car" and "Tips for Effective Communication With Your Toddler" sections.
Today I have a real treat for you. Bunmi Laditan is the comedic genius behind The Honest Toddler. She has graciously agreed to play along for an interview.
And stay tuned - The Honest Toddler stops by in person on Friday for a rare Q & A...
--
Is your name pronounced "Bunmi" or "Bunmi"? I'm never sure...
Hee hee :) It sounds like "Boo-mee"What prompted you to start tweeting as the Honest Toddler?
When did you realize the idea was a hit?
When did you decide to extend the idea into a book?
Why did you keep your identity a secret for so long?
I'm a dad of one, and I can't even find time to find my car keys (Note to self: Check refrigerator.). As a mom of two, where do you find time to write?
What's your next project?
How has your family supported you in your writing?
You always take time to respond to tweets and such. Why?
What do you attribute your sense of humor to?
Where did you pick up your love of writing?
What other things do you dream of doing?
What's your favorite part of your own book?
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