The Coworker of Doom

Sick Coworker: I beel sick.

Me: Wow, that sucks. What did the doctor say?

Sick Coworker: I don't go to the boctor, it's too exbensive.

Me: I see. Much cheaper to come to work anyway, right?

Sick Coworker: Ebxactly! Anyway, I took a Sudafed and did a nasal wash, so I should be good now.

Me: *Holding a laptop up to my face, peering wide-eyed over the top at him* That's great.

Sick Coworker: I can't hear oub of either ear, and my face hurbs from all the snot pressure, but I heard that pink eye only lasts three days, right?

Me: *Hiding behind my desk, drinking hand sanitizer* Pink eye too!?!

Sick Coworker: Yeah, bub it's not contagious since I don't rub my eyes too much. Hey, can you come look at my combuter?

Me: Do I get hazard pay? *I fix his combuter quickly, then immediately retreat to my desk*

Healthy Coworker: Good morning, Ricky...what are you doing?

Me: *Bathing with hand sanitizer* Run away! Run away!

Do you stay home from work when you're sick? Then you are my friend and you are welcome to leave a comment. If you 'tough it out', then you may leave a comment and I may berate you.



Some Guy said...

First of all, I'm not sick - it's allergies...

Secondly, it's good for your immune system to be tested occasionally.

Lastly, hand sanitizer burns my throat. How do you manage to drink it?

Ricky Anderson said...

If I had a dime for every time I've heard the allergies bit, I'd have enough for a small (tall) Starbucks coffee (latte de eau de something).