Sick Coworker: I beel sick.
Me: Wow, that sucks. What did the doctor say?
Sick Coworker: I don't go to the boctor, it's too exbensive.
Me: I see. Much cheaper to come to work anyway, right?
Sick Coworker: Ebxactly! Anyway, I took a Sudafed and did a nasal wash, so I should be good now.
Me: *Holding a laptop up to my face, peering wide-eyed over the top at him* That's great.
Sick Coworker: I can't hear oub of either ear, and my face hurbs from all the snot pressure, but I heard that pink eye only lasts three days, right?
Me: *Hiding behind my desk, drinking hand sanitizer* Pink eye too!?!
Sick Coworker: Yeah, bub it's not contagious since I don't rub my eyes too much. Hey, can you come look at my combuter?
Me: Do I get hazard pay? *I fix his combuter quickly, then immediately retreat to my desk*
Healthy Coworker: Good morning, Ricky...what are you doing?
Me: *Bathing with hand sanitizer* Run away! Run away!
Do you stay home from work when you're sick? Then you are my friend and you are welcome to leave a comment. If you 'tough it out', then you may leave a comment and I may berate you.