Things I'll Never Understand

Grace - It's the best offer out there.  Yup, better than the extended warranty on your car.

Making the bed - I have ten pillows.  I use two.  The others are sitting pillows.  Sitting pillows are for when you want something to sit on your just-made bed and not ever be used or do anything useful.  They just sit there, reminding us of how much money we can spend to have something look 'pretty'.  Wait a minute, this was supposed to be about making the bed, right?  Yeah, I don't get that either.  I'm just gonna come mess it up again.

Golf - I have a little ball.  I'm going to place this little ball on the ground.  Then I'm going to hit it as hard as I can with this metal pole.  After that, I'm gonna rent a little truck to go exploring the fake meadows while I look for this ball.  When I find it, I'm going to hit it again.  Why?  It ticked me off last time, that's why.  Then I repeat this process until I find a tiny hole in the ground to bury my tiny ball in.  Then I get to do it all over again!

Painting the house - When we were looking for a house, we were pretty specific on the details.  When Jana saw this one, she said, "Oh, it's perfect!"  Apparently what she meant was, "Oh, we can change everything!"  And to top it off, we only change things slightly.  We don't have white walls, we have off-white walls.  Big difference my friend, big difference.

Broadcast radio - It's like the fax machine, but older!  Technology has advanced a bit since radio was invented.  I can make my own radio station on iTunes.  I don't need a tower, an office, licenses, staff, etc.  And yet this medium refuses to die.


What are some things you'll never understand?


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2 comments:

Knox McCoy said...

"Oh, it's perfect!" Apparently what she meant was, "Oh, we can change everything!"

Brilliant.

Sgt. Wolverine said...

This is a great lesson: "perfect" has a silent "ly customizable."