I know everything...when I'm in Pretend I'm Awesome Mode.
I'm infinitely patient...because I have a soundproof server room.
I'm extremely confident...unless I'm running firmware updates on the production server after you went home for the day.
I can fix anything...given enough time with Buddy Google.
Your personal computer can't be fixed and needs to be replaced...because I'm busy.
I will enforce our company's Acceptable Use Policy...on you.
You think I know everything you do on your computer...and I like it that way.
What do you suspect about your network administrator, or geeks in general?