My Favorite Bluegrass Band - The Haggerty Brothers Interview

The Haggerty Brothers would make a good name for a bluegrass band.

The hard part would be finding some brothers named Haggerty.

Enter Kevin and Stephen. Brothers by birth, bloggers by night.

They've taken the blogging world by storm. They're everywhere, like [insert bad analogy here].

They're apparently two separate people, but do you know how long it took me to figure this out? An embarrassingly long time, that's how long.

And since I still get them mixed up, I thought I'd take the time to get to know them better by interviewing them.

At the same time.

And no, they didn't know it was happening this way. I like surprises, especially on other people.

Below are my questions, with their answers. Try to guess who's answer is whose and I don't like grammar no more.

Winner gets a guest post from Joseph Craven, whom's generously donated an answer to one of the questions below that one of the Haggerty brothers forgot to answer. Also, you may want to ask him first since he doesn't know he's giving away a guest post. Also, all of you win.

1. Sorry, you'll have to remind me - which Haggerty brother are you?

I'm the one who trained my entire life in the forbidden art of Goju-ryu Ninjitsu. I can kill in one million different ways.

The one with the over-pronounced crazy eye and misdirected swagger.

2. Why are you the best Haggerty brother?

That's a tough question. Clearly, I am, or else you wouldn't have asked, but it's like explaining why I'm the most powerful superhero. Haggerty brothers are like superheroes. Yes. This is the analogy I am sticking with.

Why am I the best? I'd have to say it's either my cunning wit or the cut of my jib. I also have better eyebrows. Next question.

I try to look at it like an Eli/Peyton situation... neither's really better, per se.  Both were in the Double-Stuff Oreo commercials a while back, both like to air it out against the dime, both have benefited from impressive offensive lines at some point in time- wait what was the question?

3. How many total Haggerty spawn are there?

Seven, at last count.

Have you ever seen a picture of a picture of a picture of a picture of a picture of a picture? It's exactly like that.  (7 kids. My sister is thinking about starting a blog, and if she does, we're legally changing our last name to "Bloggerty."  100% seriously.)

4. Why or why not?


My Parents really, really, really like each other.

5. What's your favorite sock?

I try to keep a knee-high athletic sock at my disposal at all times. You never know when you're going to need to fill it with quarters and go all "Homey the Clown" on a fool. Word?

I only trust leather, anymore.  (That's sorta become my motto in any situation.)

6. The best comic strip ever is?

This is another tough one, because I've always thought most comic strips are not funny at all. I generally walk away from reading a comic strip with a sense of wonder over how that author/artist is able to get work. If I had to choose between reading the comic strip every day and cutting my leg off with a nail file, I may strongly kick around the idea of how well I could operate on one leg.


7. What's the worst injury you ever had?

I broke my collarbone when I was about ten. I was trying to do a flip on the tile floor foyer walkway in our house. It ended badly. Broken collarbones are pretty brutal because it means you have to sleep on your back. Everything hurts.

Over-inflated sense of self-worth.

8. I'm afraid of heights. Are you also afraid of heights, or are you insane?

I am not afraid of heights, nor am I insane. I like to challenge myself as often as possible. I've not yet ever gone skydiving or bungee jumping, but I hope to remedy this before I die.

No.  ...Oh wait- I just read the rest of the question... yes- very afraid!  Me and you are twins.

9. Lawn ornaments. Discuss.

I've always been of the "less is more" camp. People should be able to tell the difference between when you are having a yard sale and when you are not.

Legalize those turkeys!

10. Will you be my minion?

Some of your words became switched around in this email. You may want to check your computer for viruses. But yes, I humbly accept your offer to be my minion. I'll send over a list of responsibilities ASAP. Good choice on your part.


11. What's one thing you're really proud of?

My minion, Ricky Anderson. He's super obedient and a positive reflection on the type of discipline I seek to instill in those around me in need of greater wisdom.

I'm also proud of my wife, probably more than anything. She's awesome, and I don't ever want to lose sight of how lucky I am that she chose me back.

My ability to teach others how to Dougie.

12. What's your favorite Christmas present ever?

I remember getting a Sega Genesis when I was kid and thinking that was pretty much the awesomest thing ever. Do you remember Street Fighter? That game caused many a fight in the Haggerty household. Not virtual fights, that's a given. Literal fights. "Ha-dooo-ken!!!!!"

That time my dad, Jimmy Stewart, came home after a hallucination and realized what a wonderful life he actually had.  Presents were tops that year!!!

13. Anything you'd like to plug?

My website, It's a growing community where people come and read my posts, then comment about how awesome they are. In all seriousness, I'd love for as many people as possible to come over and join the party. We have a good time.

I have an e-book coming out soon that is called: "An Idiot's Guide to the Galaxy." I plan on releasing it for free to my e-mail subscribers. People are going to love it...and hate it.

I'd also love for people to follow me on Twitter. I say some pretty cool stuff there on a regular basis.

Things I desperately want to un-plug: 1) The auto-tune machine... enough already!  2) Joan Rivers (robot), 3) The next reality show attempting to incorporate a board room, product pitches, and/or Gary Busey.

Wow. I'm still having trouble telling them apart.

Can you?

Evan's Dedication

We dedicated Evan to the Lord a few weeks ago.

Here's the video:


A History of Violence - Guest Post by The Joseph Craven

The Joseph Craven is back! You may remember his epic video of advice for my son Evan.

I have been twisting his arm to return and write the blog for me guest post. Today is the culmination of all my pestering efforts.

After reading this very informative and historically accurate piece on the history of violence, head on over to his blog, The Greatest Blog of All Time.
A History of Violence

Humanity has long been a violent group. Since the beginning of time, fights and wars have just been a part of life. One thing that has changed over the years, however, is the use of violence as a problem solving tool.It used to be very common. For example, it wasn’t strange at all for medieval knights to brawl to determine who was correct in a situation. There were no lengthy debates or voting processes in these circumstances. Just a fight, and whoever won was considered just. People didn’t question it.

Another fine example is the Roman Gladiatorial games. Today, these are looked at as being horrible and brutal, but back then, they served a great purpose. They were a release of the natural violent tendencies of the spectators, so they wouldn’t be violent themselves. This way, the Roman people were able to fully focus on such great things as paving roads, despising the lower classes, and abandoning any moral code they were supposed to follow.

It was a simple system, much different than today. But like any system people have ever created, it had flaws.

For example, people would use violence to deal with things they didn’t understand. The 15th-18th centuries were full of these examples, as everybody fell in love with a good old-fashioned witch hunt. Basically, if things seemed strange about somebody, they were labeled as a witch and burned or drowned. Sometimes both!

"She turned me into a newt!

I got better."

While certainly not a system to be celebrated, it did also serve as a wonderful tool for removing raving lunatics. Today, because killing isn’t as legal as it used to be, all raving lunatics end up holding public office.

America hasn’t always looked down on the art of the problem-solving kill. Duels were still fairly common practice in the early years of this country. In fact, some of the most famous duelists were leaders, such as Andrew Jackson. A Jackson duel was about as common as lunch for us. In fact, he had been shot so many times, it was said he rattled like a bag of marbles due to the bullets rolling around in his body.You may ask: but where exactly did all these duels get him? Simple: the Presidency.

Do you see how this works? Years ago, with a simple problem-solving kill, people who weren’t worthy of authority were taken care of. A well placed duel could simplify things. Alexander Hamilton didn’t think Aaron Burr would be a good President, so he and Burr dueled. Burr won, but by then, everyone in the nation agreed that Burr was a tool, so they didn’t elect him. As a thank you, they slapped Hamilton’s face on the ten dollar bill.

No debates. No lengthy primaries. Just a simple duel, and suddenly, the Presidential race made total sense to everyone.

Is this amount of everyday violence necessarily justified? No. Of course not. But it does have a role to play. For example, without some sort of competition, like the Gladiatorial games, we end up having to channel violence in other areas. It’s why we pay people millions of dollars to toss a ball around. It’s the closest thing we have to paying people millions of dollars to chop each other in half.

Violence doesn’t have to be more frequent. But humanity can’t go any longer while ignoring the obvious problem-solving benefits it holds. Especially during an election year.

One thing is certain: with more control over raving lunatics, there would be less people in public office. And that has to be a good thing.

Are you pro-violence too?
Nathan Fillian voted Neo!

Reading and Writing

I enjoy writing.

I just don't have the attention span for it.

Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of having a book on the shelf with my name on the spine. The thought that somewhere in the world, someone I didn't even know could be excited about grabbing my book of their shelf and reading it again thrilled me.

I've tried writing a book. I have a winner of an idea. But I couldn't get it going and it sucked once it started landing on the page.

After banging my head on the keyboard for a few months, I came to the realization that I'm not cut out for writing books.

I think I could salvage the idea as a screenplay or a short story, but it will never see the light of day as a novel. Once I realized this, I became anxious to try it.

I've got a few questions for you:

  • What types of things do you enjoy reading the most?
  • If you write, what are you best at writing?
  • If I were to post some short stories or odds and ends in different formats, would you read them?


The Great Allegra Power Outage

  • We had a dust storm yesterday that was so bad visibility was zero.
    • I would have taken a picture to prove it, but...
      • Visibility was zero.
        • So trust me when I say it looked like a bunch of dirt, but in the air.
          • You could say the dirt was acting up.
  • What's your favorite book? I hardly read anymore since life is so busy, but if I were to read one thing, what would you recommend?
    • I'll let you know if I liked it or not at some point in the next 12 years.
  • Clay Morgan is running a contest to see who's the greatest movie hero. I'm backing Neo from The Matrix. In this round, I'm up against Jamie Golden, who's shilling for Mary Poppins.
    • My wife says I'm going to lose, but I don't know how anyone can in good conscience back a lady who spikes kids' drinks and then flies away.
      • Although I'm afraid to win because I'm slightly terrified of Jamie.
  • Achoo!
What's your favorite horrible TV show or movie? We've been watching La Femme Nikita. Poorly produced, poorly acted, and very, very addicting. We may or may not already be on season 3...

Making It Count

You may have thought this was yet another abacus post, but it's not.

We're having our roof redone. It's under warranty since the builder didn't do it right (I don't know the specifics. They keep roofs up high, where I am not).

The contractor sent to do the work could have just slapped a new roof on and marched away. They didn't have to make me happy; I'm not the one paying them.

However, the crew they sent did a spectacular job. They are ahead of schedule. They were friendly. They cleaned up after themselves, thoroughly.

So I called the owner of the roofing company. I commended him and his crew. He was floored to hear such good things. I guess when you're in charge, you hear all the complaints and few of the compliments.

He took a routine warranty job and made it count. If I ever need roofing services again, he'll get the job. If friends or family need a roofer, he'll get the referral.

It's easy to throw your hat at something. It's also easy to complain.

But it makes a difference when you do your best...and earn the reward.

Give me an example of great service you're received!

Keeping Up

What do you do to keep up?

When you fall behind, what's your game plan?

How do you control the deluge of responsibilities and To Do lists?


Happy Birthday, The Joseph Craven of The Greatest Blog of All Time

Amanda Bast is classy.

She found out that today is The Joseph Craven's birthday.

A month ago, she got together a bunch of bloggers and asked them to record a video telling The Joseph Craven that he's getting closer to uncontrollable ear hair.

While there may be many kind and wonderful folks in this video, I think you'll agree that my 6-month-old movie star son, Evan steals the show.

Click here to watch Amanda's tribute to Joe. I can call him that because he lives so far away.

Agree with me below in the comments or I'll delete your comment. Deal? Deal.

Photopalooza Party Parade, Part 3.14

Dad, it's not my birthday.

That van has a mustache. And I have a dirty windshield.
My mom hadn't spanked me in 20 years, so I guess it was time.

Would you put a mustache on the back of your car?