1. NOT click here. 2. Give yourself a swirly. 3. Reboot yourself. 4. Include him in those family photos. 5. Upgrade him to a robot. World domination is easier with more moving parts. 6. Buy him a lottery ticket. 7. Stop touching his monitor. After all, he doesn't touch your glasses. 8. Remember to upgrade his RAM.
9. Clean out his keyboard every now and then. You brush your teeth, right?
10. Quit cursing at it. Would you talk to your mom that way?
What else does your computer wish you would do?