Writing guest posts for your blog*
A gift for the next busy person who tells you, "I've only got two hands!"
A 'conversation starter' for your coffee table
Spanking device for your unruly children ('don't make me get THE HAAAAND!')
Employee motivation ('Good job! Give yourselves a pat on the back. Okay, now pass it around the table.')
*Batteries not included
If you're not going to take me up on the offer, the least you could do is come up with a few other creative uses for my left arm in case someone else wants it.
Have at it!