Today's guest post is from Tyler Stanton. He's hilarious, and he writes about dentists a bit too frequently.
After looking around Ricky’s blog for a bit, I knew this was the perfect opportunity to air some of my computer-related grievances. Here are a few things that drive me insane:
If I see you double-click a link, I already know everything there is to know about you. You have an @aol.com email address. You shut down your computer after every use. Your internet start page is msn.com. You have four different free-trial anti-virus programs running simultaneously on your computer. Oh, and your t-shirt is currently tucked into your beltless jeans.
Typing in the "http://" or “www.”
This is my fingernails-on-a-chalkboard. In the time it’s taking you to find those unnecessary backslashes, I could have visited the site, restarted my computer, made a sandwich, eaten the sandwich, and upgraded my computer’s firmware.*
Acting overly ignorant
So you’re not a user. That’s fine. But when one out of every five people in the world with computer access is a member, a movie about it’s origin is nominated for the best film of the year, and it’s founder has just been named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, there is absolutely no excuse for you to still call it “FaceSpace”.
Not Googling something first
Google knows every answer to every question ever conceived. Google is never busy. And Google is never going to judge you for asking a stupid question. Search first, ask last.
Touching my screen
I’ve written about this guy before. You know, the guy who really wants to show you something on the computer. Instead of simply pointing to the link he wants you to click, he stabs your screen with his index finger with a force that could pierce elephant skin. It’s not really the smudges that get me – it’s the permanent rainbow-colored bruise on the center of my screen that will last until the end of time.
I’m sure you have a bunch of your own. What would you add to the list?
*This is the geekiest sentence I’ve ever written.
Tyler Stanton is part of a movement of people who don’t take themselves too seriously. His blog, tylerstanton.com, helps tens of people in their own journey every single day. His glorified pamphlet, Everyday Absurdities: Insights from the World’s Most Trivial Man, is on track to become required reading in all nationally accredited universities by 2026. If all goes according to plan, he will never own a dog.
I have to throw in those people who make it to Facebook, only to constantly let everyone know how much they don't know about doing things on Facebook. Yet they can have a kajillion acre farm on Farmville.
That, and the people who use ALL CAPS in all of their comments. Are you yelling at me, or are you just stupid?
Apple snobs. We get it... We believe... We've seen the light. Its like a cult for some. It's a man made thing that's cool and expensive..... I can't find my white earbuds, panic at the thought of wearing alternative pair and being judged by others, Or notice that the real hardcore fanboys are anti iPhone case- they need their badge of honor to be un-obstructed.
The people who view their level on Farmville as a major accomplishment bother me. And they may need counseling.
I hate the people who use caps and un caps all together and think that it is it's own type of font. It isn't. Stop doing that. It'S hARd To ReAd. See? Gah, I hate myself for doing that.
Oh, and people that don't know that a gmail email ends with .com. "What's your email? Dot what?" What do you think?
Using LOL when you didn't actually laugh out loud. Do you know what that makes you? A LIAR.
Being the person who forgets that Google knows everything. :-)
How about the people who can never figure out to leave a comment on a blog?
How about the people who can never figure out to leave a comment?
Confusing backslashes and forward slashes. ;) just kidding...
That's my fault, Katie.
I'm the 'techie' who's too lazy to switch over to an easier-to-use platform, like Wordpress.
All the cool kids are using it, but I haven't even tried it yet.
I'll go add myself to the pet peeves list now.
*hangs head in shame*
I'm no "techie" but I'm in the same boat with the comments and not trying wordpress. You're right- all the cool kids are on there. However, I figured that if my grandma could figure how to comment on blogger, others should too. (Yes, my grandma is my most faithful reader. She thinks I'm great.)
Also, the previous comments were an attempt at irony but I realize that no one actually knows me and probably thinks I'm just an idiot. I certainly can be one, but that mistake was purposeful. Just for the record.
You know, I actually thought it was intentional, but decided to err on the side of caution and be nice to new readers!
Now I know I should have just made fun of you like intended.
.. and then you went and shattered any geek cred by calling them "backslashes".
You wanna know my pet peeve? People who don't know the difference between a slash and a backslash.
Touche, anonymous. Touche.
Seriously, If I have to walk you through an online form, use tab to go to the different fields and when you're done, just press enter! You don't have to grab the mouse, drag the pointer ever so slowly to each of the individual 45 form fields and then finally take an extra long time looking for the submit button.
IT'S RIGHT THERE!
YES!!! Thank you!!!
You made my day.
My husband still drags his mouse to the little arrows at the top and bottom of the slider bar to scroll through a webpage. And he has a MAC!
Post a Comment