My wife is like a cat.
I've been noticing more of her feline tendencies lately.
She can see in the dark. It's amazing. We'll get home after sunset with arms full of groceries (milk, tuna, etc.). There won't be any lights on, and she can walk down the hall, through the dining room and into the kitchen without missing a step or bumping a wall. I can't make it through the door without falling on my face.
If I'm writing, she'll wander in to the office and sit in my lap...like a cat. "Would you rub my back?" Just like a cat.
Or when we're watching a movie, for instance. She'll cozy down in a blanket, or three...like a cat.
The other night she got home from work late in the evening and immediately started cleaning.
You know who else cleans compulsively?
Cats, while compulsive cleaners, shed hair at an alarming rate. My wife has lost so much hair in our bathroom we could start our own clothing line. Or make toupees for my dad.
I may be wrong, of course. I could be reading too much into this. My wife hasn't thrown up in my shoes or clawed the curtains in quite some time.
But she did just ask me for a foot rub.
i'm going to say there's a good chance she'll puke in your shoes tonight. and your favorite vintage t-shirt will probably get shredded.
You know, I really wasn't worried about retribution...
...except I actually have a favorite vintage shirt.
You should put rings of duct tape on the bottoms of her feet and video her walking clumsily around the living room.
Chances are you will get in trouble for this, but the 1 million Youtube views will be worth it. Probably.
Is this post just a test to see if she can also be as aloof as a cat?
Remember, it's a nice gesture if she brings you a dead mouse or bird.
What's the favorite vintage shirt?
You'll get to see it tomorrow.
It's making a special cameo for National Kazoo Day!
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