Cleanliness is Next to Impossible

Today's treat is a guest post from Some Guy.  He blogs at Some Blog Site.  You should read it Some Time, he's funny.  Enjoy!


Did you know you don't have to refrigerate ketchup?  That's one of the things I learned early in my marriage.

And you don't have to clean the microwave either.  Nothing can survive in that environment - the radiation kills anything and everything.

And I don't clean up spilled macaroni and cheese right away.  With 3 young boys, we go through a lot of mac and cheese at our house.  There will always be some that winds up on the floor.  Have you ever tried to sweep fresh macaroni and cheese?  It doesn't sweep - it smears.  That creates more of a mess.  But let it dry for about two days and it sweeps up with no problems.  So I don't clean the dining room floor until two days after a major spill.  It just works better that way.

And there's no reason to make your bed.  Really, why do we have to make our beds?

As the old saying goes: "You make your bed - you have to lie in it."  But it's more work to lie in a bed that's made.  It is twice as cumbersome to unmake a bed, make a bed, unmake it, and make it again.

I sometimes don't explain things well and do better by drawing it.  I will attempt to do that here.

Figure A: The Standard Making of Beds

This has four cases - close, open, close, open.

Figure B: The Efficient Making of Beds

This has only two cases - close, open.

There are other situations where the extra steps make sense: if I don't close the front door when I leave the house, the mosquitoes can get in.  And if I don't close the car door when I get out, the interior lights drain the battery (and mosquitoes can get in).  Fridge door - food gets warm.  etc. etc.

But what's going to happen to my bed if I leave the covers open?  The only reason I can think why to make your bed is for it to look better in case someone sees it.  But we don't normally have people over to look at our bed, so it's not normally an issue.  We do make our bed when we are expecting people over, just in case they get lost and accidentally wander into our bedroom.

And that, my friends, is why you should clean the microwave occasionally - just for looks, in case someone else happens to see it.



CharityVL said...

I make our bed for me, because I walk into that room a thousand times a day and it makes me feel better, like I accomplished something. But I get your point. And I think unrefrigerated ketchup is gross. How does my sis-in-law feel about unmade beds???

Ricky Anderson said...

My wife makes the bed for us, too. I do it when I'm asked, but never think about it otherwise.

And I challenge you on the ketchup thing!

Do you ask for refrigerated ketchup at restaurants? I can assure you those bottles are not refrigerated, and I'm guessing you've never cared.

Except now you'll probably start noticing and caring.

Some Guy said...

And the strawberry syrup (for milk or ice cream, not pancakes) says "Do not refrigerate", but we ignore that one.

Some Guy's Wife said...

I don't make the bed unless we are having company. Oh I guess I make it the first few days after I've changed the Sheets. When blankets don't have to be realigned and sheets are still tucked in. As for sweeping, that gets done when I step in or on something. The place I am picky about being clean is where I prep food. If you ever come to visit don't worry, we'll clean the whole house for you. If you decide to drop in unannounced, be prepared to see a war zone. I'm still waiting for the servants the Proverbs 31 woman had.