This is all well and good, but what should I to do about the Christmas Carolers?
I haven't seen any in years, but you probably remember them - the random group of intrepid vocalists who brave the cold to spread the Christmas cheer - right to your front door.
I don't know about you, but this makes for an awkward situation if I'm answering the door. What am I supposed to do? What exactly is expected of me in this situation?
The doorbell rings, and standing on my porch are several shivering sopranos. Their smiles are frozen in place; their eyes are gleaming with hope and excitement.
I have several options at this point, and I don't care for any of them (the options, not the carolers...necessarily):
I can ignore them. Never answer the door, and stare at them out the peephole until they wander away in the snow. I'll watch the news a few days later to see if they've been found.
I can answer the door, and watch uncomfortably from the doorway. I don't know how long this will take. How many songs will they sing? Should I clap? While I'm standing there, all the cold air will come inside, and I might have to cut the warblers short to run back to the fireplace and warm up with a hot toddy. Don't make me choose between being rude and being warm!
I can answer the door, and step out onto the porch with the group so I can close the door behind me. While this leaves my house warmer, it leaves me colder. Plus, it adds another level of social awkwardness - what do I do while I'm out there? Do I join in? This might ruin the evening for everyone. The carolers might run away in fear. Of course, if they're singing 'Fa-la-la-la-la', while they're still running, this could be amusing. I could have my wife secretly filming from the living room...
If I don't join in while I'm outside listening politely, what do I do when they're finished? Do we all stand around and smile until I retreat back inside? Do they shuffle away quietly, and later I'll wonder if they were really even there? Do I tip them? Do I tip in cash or cookies? What kinds of cookies are acceptable? Do they have to be Christmas cookies? Is caroling the Christmas equivalent of trick-or-treating?
Hmmm...I wonder if my wife made cookies?
Offer them cookies as soon as you're ready for them to be done. They will take the cookies and will have to try them out of politeness at least. And it would not work to sing with cookies in your mouth, so that should solve your dilemma.
Or maybe there will be an even longer awkward pause while you wait for them to finish their cookies before they sing their next song.
This was hilarious!
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