Fun With Accountants

Accountants can be fun, when they're not busy being boring.

It's surprisingly easy to egg them on.

Take this exchange from earlier today.  I was at the coffee maker with an unsuspecting accountant.  We had two choices - make our coffee quietly and then head back to our desks, or have some fun at the accountant's expense.  Guess which one we chose today?

Accountant:  I can't believe it's snowing today!

Me:  Yup.  Hey, I wonder how much this coffee costs per cup?

Accountant:  Well, it depends on which style you brew.  If one person is going to have one cup, then it's cheaper to use the single cup brewer.  However, if three or more people are going to have a cup, then it's cheaper to brew a whole pot.

Me:  What about the time value of money considering the declining depreciation expense of the ROI amount allocated in the budget?  Did you consider that?

Accountant:  What?  No!  You don't use that approach when calculating the cost of one-off expenditures!  You only factor those variables in when depreciating fixed assets in accordance with GAAP guidelines.

Me:  Yes, until they updated their guidance documents two years ago.

Accountant:  This changes everything!

*Runs off to recalculate his life*

Innocent Bystander:  Do you have any idea what you were saying?

Me:  Not a clue, but that sure is good coffee.