Stuff Popping Around In My Head, Part 2

Putt-Putt - Miniature golf is a lot harder than you remember it being when you were a kid.

Bureaucracy - It used to be spelled "insanity", but then it went through committee approval.

Business Cards - I'll be dead before I hand all these out.  I should go down to local deli and dump 'em all in the jar.  Free lunch guaranteed!

Urgent Email - You can slap that red exclamation on every one of your emails, and it still won't be an emergency.  Truly urgent emails are called "phone calls".

Water Heaters - Betcha you took yours for granted this morning, didn't you?

Electricity - I'll never understand how the same electricity that will kill me will simply charge my little iPod.  I know I'm a wimp, but I kinda thought I was tougher than my iPod.

Sharing a Bathroom With My Wife - The stuff in our bathroom can be sorted into three basic categories:  Her Stuff, My Stuff, and Our Stuff.  The distribution of stuff into these categories is approximately:  Her Stuff - 74.86%.  My Stuff - 12.29%.  Our Stuff - 12.85%*.  I feel like I should start paying her rent.

Slip-On Shoes
- I'll never go back.  I haven't laced a single pair of my shoes in approximately 8 years.  When I have kids, I'm not teaching them to tie their shoes.  I'm going to hand them a pair of awesome slip-ons and say, "Have at it.  I just saved you 6 months of your entire life.  You're welcome."

Mowing the Lawn - Shouldn't we put high-powered lasers on the top of the sprinkler heads to keep the lawn at just the perfect height?  Go on, tell me you haven't thought of this one too!

Pencils - Are we still making these things?  Why?

*   "Our Stuff" is really just another name for "Mostly Her Stuff".


Some Guy said...

We have a child in grade school and all he uses are slip-on shoes. They are nice except for sports. Try playing soccer in those - they quickly become slip-off shoes.

And make sure no pets are in the yard when you activate the lasers.

Ricky Anderson said...

I see your point on the sports issue.

But I'm not a pet person, so thanks for the laser idea!

Never have been a pet guy. I can poop on my own carpet, thank you very much.