Putt-Putt - Miniature golf is a lot harder than you remember it being when you were a kid.
Bureaucracy - It used to be spelled "insanity", but then it went through committee approval.
Business Cards - I'll be dead before I hand all these out. I should go down to local deli and dump 'em all in the jar. Free lunch guaranteed!
Urgent Email - You can slap that red exclamation on every one of your emails, and it still won't be an emergency. Truly urgent emails are called "phone calls".
Water Heaters - Betcha you took yours for granted this morning, didn't you?
Electricity - I'll never understand how the same electricity that will kill me will simply charge my little iPod. I know I'm a wimp, but I kinda thought I was tougher than my iPod.
Sharing a Bathroom With My Wife - The stuff in our bathroom can be sorted into three basic categories: Her Stuff, My Stuff, and Our Stuff. The distribution of stuff into these categories is approximately: Her Stuff - 74.86%. My Stuff - 12.29%. Our Stuff - 12.85%*. I feel like I should start paying her rent.
Slip-On Shoes - I'll never go back. I haven't laced a single pair of my shoes in approximately 8 years. When I have kids, I'm not teaching them to tie their shoes. I'm going to hand them a pair of awesome slip-ons and say, "Have at it. I just saved you 6 months of your entire life. You're welcome."
Mowing the Lawn - Shouldn't we put high-powered lasers on the top of the sprinkler heads to keep the lawn at just the perfect height? Go on, tell me you haven't thought of this one too!
Pencils - Are we still making these things? Why?
* "Our Stuff" is really just another name for "Mostly Her Stuff".