Freelance IT Consulting

If you've been doing IT for a while, you know what it means to be an IT consultant.  At least one of the FREElance variety.

You have to be up on every option known to man.  You have to be a mind reader.  And above all, you have to work for free, often without so much as a 'Thank you!'

It goes like this:

Friend, family member or coworker:  Can I ask you a personal question?

You:  Sorry, I'm taken.

Friend, family member or coworker:  What?

You:  Never mind.  Sure, shoot.

Friend, family member or coworker:  I'm looking for a new computer, but I don't know what to get.

You:  Well, what are you looking to be able to do with it?

Friend, family member or coworker:  I want to watch kitty videos and read sewing blogs.  I want to have a big screen like my neighbor does.

You:  Is that all you're wanting to do with it?  Sounds like you're looking for a basic desktop.  What's your budget?

Friend, family member or coworker:  $18.  And I want the Microsoft Windows Word and Internet Powerpoint Presenter.

You:  Do you mean Office?  That's extra.  It doesn't come with Office or the monitor.

Friend, family member or coworker:
  Why not?  My neighbor says all his software is free.  He downloads it over the Limewire.  Oh, and I want to use it on my couch during "Biggest Loser" commercials.

  Ok, then you'll need a laptop or a netbook.  Those come with the monitor.

Friend, family member or coworker:  Can you tell me the difference between a laptop and a netbook?

You:  Sure.  Laptops are heavier duty.  They'll have a better processor and an optical drive.  They're less likely to come with a stripped down OS, so there's no artificial software restrictions like in 7 Starter, where you can't run more than three concurrent apps.  Netbooks are meant for light use and traveling.  They're a good choice as long as you aren't under the illusion they're a laptop replacement.

Friend, family member or coworker:  Uh-huh.  So do they come in pink?  I want the cutest one they have!

You:  *Sigh*  Have you been to the Apple store?  I hear their computers are sooo cuuuute!


Anonymous said...

Haven't met an infected PC yet that didn't have limewire on it. The money clients have spent on for me to clean up their PC's they could have bought full versions of MS Office already :)

Ricky Anderson said...

Is that the version that comes with Excel Gridlines so I can make my databases?