I have a love/hate relationship with my jeans.
It's just that I can't trust them. They tell me lies.
We're allowed to wear jeans to work on Fridays. On Fridays, I stumble into the closet, and groggily look for what to wear.
The Jeans know it's their day, and they're excited. They've been planning this all week. My Dockers are in a crumpled pile on the floor, having been beaten up once again by The Jeans.
As I reach for them, The Jeans start making me promises.
"You made the right choice, Boss! We're more fun than your usual business casual. We've got a heckuva day planned for you - a heckuva day! We're gonna leave work early today. We're gonna go on a hike. We're gonna play baseball and eat cookies! We're even throwing a party later - we invited all your friends!"
I've learned the hard way, though - they're lying.
I get to work and the boss calls a meeting. The Jeans howl in disappointment.
Two hours later, I leave the meeting with a pile of work. The Jeans fight to take me to my car. It's quite the struggle. The call of duty wins.
I work for a couple hours, and then head to lunch. The Jeans talk me into taking a long lunch with the guys. It's Friday, after all.
"Now you're talking, Boss! We won't go back to work, we'll go to a movie! Don't pull in here at the office, keep going. C'mon, you know you want to. The Boss won't care!"
My mobile rings. It's the Boss. He has a deliverable going out today, and it's all hands on deck until it's done. I pull in to the office, much to The Jeans' dismay.
The deliverable goes out, but not before we run into some technical glitches.
"C'mon, Boss. Let's leave now. Take your wife out on a date - she deserves it! We've already called Hot Skirt, and she's in!"
We spend Friday night rebooting servers and backing up databases.
I think you're in trouble if The Jeans ever collude with The Casual Shirts.
I know. I separate them in the closet. The only time they are allowed to pair up is on vacations!
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