Teaching Your Baby To Be Self-Sufficient

I was discussing our child care plans with a coworker the other day.

She asked what we intended to do with Evan when Jana has to go back to work in late November.

"Babies his age don't generally go anywhere, right?", I asked. "We'll just put him in his bouncer and lock the door when we leave. He should be fine."

"You're horrible! What about feeding him?"

"Dang. Hadn't thought of that."

"You could get him one of those beer hats and just put milk bottles in the holders instead of beer cans."

"Brilliant! Or my wife the nurse could hook up a milk IV with a bottle nipple at the end."

"What about changing diapers?"

"Astronauts wear Maximum Absorption Garments...really big diapers. He can too!"

"Phone's for you. Child Protective Services, I think."

What else should I do to teach Evan to be self-sufficient?