- I used to be a professional magician.
- I did exactly one show, but when you get paid for something, that makes you a professional, right?
- It was a kid's birthday party. The kids were bored during the show.
- When boogers and armpit farts are more interesting than your show, it's time to retire.
- Juggled in front of an actual audience.
- Wanna see me juggle three balls? Yay! Wanna see me do it again? Hello?
- Gotten married.
- She hasn't left yet!
- During my entire three month career as a loan officer, I closed one loan.
- It was for my in-laws, God bless 'em.
- Performed a song using a nose flute. It was a duet with my mom, who also used a nose flute.
- This is an actual instrument. Google it.
- International travel
- We went to Mexico once when I was five. I bought a guitar for 50 cents.
What's something you've done once?