How To Be A Doctor

I think most kids grow up to work dead-end jobs simply because they didn't know how to get to their dream ones.

So this one's for the kids. Every kid has dreamed at one point in their lives of being a doctor.

Saving lives, a high salary, malpractice suits. What's not to like?

Things You Can Do Now To Prepare For Your Future As A Doctor
  • Apply for med school. Since this process can take so long, it's never too early to apply. Remember that you won't start your career until ten years after all your friends. Get a head start!
  • Watch Doogie Houser. He's just a kid, and yet he's a doctor. If he can do it, you can too!
  • Rummage through Mom and Dad's medicine cabinet. Read all the labels and learn what each one does. Don't take any of the medicine; that would be dangerous. Give it to the cat instead to see what happens.
  • Surf Web MD. Look at all the weird things people can come down with. If any of it freaks you out, you're probably better off as an IT guy. If it intrigues and excites you, you've found the right profession.
    • Weirdo.
  • Keep people waiting. When Mom and Dad call you downstairs for dinner, wait at least thirty minutes. When you finally come, act preoccupied and furrow your brow as you stare off into space and ignore the family dinnertime chat.
  • Give ambiguous answers. When people ask you questions, don't tie yourself down to definitive answers. You'll need this later when diagnosing your patients.
    • "You may have carpal tunnel, Mrs. Johnson. Or malaria. Or rapid hair loss triggered by onset coronary failure. We'll need to run some more expensive tests."
      • "Oh, no! Is it fatal?"
        • "Only if you die."
What tips do you have for the kids?