Sock Her!

I don't understand soccer.

Yes, I get that the objective is to score more goals than the other team.

What I don't get is that soccer fans are never happier than when nothing is happening. If the score is 0 to 0, it's like Christmas for a soccer fan.

I admit much of my confusion regarding soccer is simply willful ignorance. I never played soccer as a child, and I've never watched a complete soccer game in my life.

In elementary school, there would be 100 kids kicking soccer balls around before school started. Invariably, it ended with me standing in the goal and blocking dodging 10 soccer balls zooming at my head at once. So I may be a bit biased.

Another thing that confuses me about soccer are the coaches. They dress in an athletic suit, as though they might have to go and spell the goalie for a bit. Has this ever happened?

Several of my friends at work are soccer fans. We get in spirited debates about which is more boring - soccer or baseball. When you're debating the virtues of boring with an accountant, you realize you have failed in life.

Although I stick by my claim that soccer is the second most boring sport. Soccer games are around 12 hours long. The only sport more boring is golf, although whether or not it's a true sport is definitely up for debate.

What sports do/don't you like?