Bob Feller Made Me Cry

When I was 10, I went to an Albuquerque Dukes (AAA Dodgers farm team, now the Albuquerque Isotopes) game with my grandmother, the biggest baseball fan in the world.

They announced that night was Bob Feller Night. He would be signing autographs by the food court.

I didn't have a clue who he was, but my grandmother did. She'd watched his entire career and knew he was in the Hall of Fame. He'd won a World Series and was the first Major League ballplayer to volunteer to serve in World War II. Grandmother was as excited as could be.

So I grabbed the funny pages from the newspaper my mom was reading during the game (not the biggest baseball fan in the world), and ran downstairs.

I waited in line for 45 minutes, missing every pitch in between. There were tables lined up with pictures of him pitching his fastball for the Cleveland Indians. Each picture cost $1, but I didn't have any money. I didn't know it was mandatory.

When I got up to him, I handed him my folded-up newspaper.

"Hi! Can you sign this for my grandmother?"

He tossed it back at me, and barked, "Buy a photo, kid!"

I started crying.

People in line started booing.

He snatched the newspaper back and signed it (there IS crying in baseball!).

I ran away.

I gave the autograph to my grandmother. "I got this for you, Grandmother."

She took one look at my face and asked what was wrong. I told her Bob Feller yelled at me.

"Then I don't want it."

She handed it back to me.

I keep that autograph to this day for two reasons. First, it's a great piece of memorabilia to show my son when he grows up. But second, and more importantly, I keep it to remind myself of the lesson my grandmother showed me that day - it's easy to throw away your reputation.

Bob Feller spent 20 years earning the respect of people like my grandmother, and 3 seconds tossing that respect away for $1.

Maybe Bob Feller was the kindest man in the world. Maybe he just had a bad day; we all do. I don't know.

So when you're having a bad day, remember - don't throw it away for something cheap.


Has baseball ever made you cry?
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The World Serious

• I've been watching the World Series on and off with my son.
• That means I holler friendly wisdom to the television while he poops himself.
• Both are equally useful to the outcome of the game.
• I don't watch much baseball during the regular season. I saw three games this year, two of which were in person. But when October comes around, I get excited.
• Jana's willing to watch the games with me since I'm not that husband who disappears every weekend for sports.
• Growing up, my dad used to call it the World Serious. I still slip and call it that from time to time.
• I get weird looks.
• Which I'm used to by now.
• I have great memories of watching the World Series with my younger brother growing up. Bed times didn't apply during the World Series, and we took full advantage.
• His favorite team was the Blue Jays, and his favorite player was Joe Carter.
• You should have seen him when the Blue Jays won the World Series and Joe Carter hit a grand slam.

Are you watching the World Series?

Nathan Fillian wuz here.

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Sock Her!

I don't understand soccer.

Yes, I get that the objective is to score more goals than the other team.

What I don't get is that soccer fans are never happier than when nothing is happening. If the score is 0 to 0, it's like Christmas for a soccer fan.

I admit much of my confusion regarding soccer is simply willful ignorance. I never played soccer as a child, and I've never watched a complete soccer game in my life.

In elementary school, there would be 100 kids kicking soccer balls around before school started. Invariably, it ended with me standing in the goal and blocking dodging 10 soccer balls zooming at my head at once. So I may be a bit biased.

Another thing that confuses me about soccer are the coaches. They dress in an athletic suit, as though they might have to go and spell the goalie for a bit. Has this ever happened?

Several of my friends at work are soccer fans. We get in spirited debates about which is more boring - soccer or baseball. When you're debating the virtues of boring with an accountant, you realize you have failed in life.

Although I stick by my claim that soccer is the second most boring sport. Soccer games are around 12 hours long. The only sport more boring is golf, although whether or not it's a true sport is definitely up for debate.

What sports do/don't you like?

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Who's On First?

I saw something at the Kansas City Royals vs. Chicago White Sox game last night that I'd never seen before.

I'll bet you haven't, either.

One of the Royals' batters swung hard at strike three. The catcher dropped the ball, but immediately snatched it up and tagged the batter. The ump called the out and everyone in the stadium was disappointed, but ready for the guy on deck to step up to the plate.

The batter wasn't ready, though. He started arguing with the ump. Fans started shouting at him to move on and get over it. He kept at it. He went back and forth with the ump for about a full minute. The ump even walked away from him at one point.

Suddenly, the ump walked back to home plate and signaled 'Safe'. Turns out the batter had foul-tipped the ball, and since the catcher dropped it, the batter had not struck out.

I have never seen an umpire reverse his call after an argument from the player or a coach.

They didn't show us the reply on the JumboTron, so we don't know if the ump made the right call or not.

What they did show on the JumboTron was me.

That's right - thousands of people there, and I notice the chump on the screen looks an awful lot like me...so I made a face at him, and he made one back. It was like looking into the world's biggest mirror.

Sorry, folks...no autographs.


What's the strangest thing you've seen at a sporting event? Have you ever been in the spotlight unexpectedly?
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The Pinball Game That Is My Mind When It Doesn't Have Any Sleep I'm Tired Mary Had A Lotta Lambs

Going to the Kansas City Royals / Chicago White Sox game tomorrow. Tickets are only $10 each! So is parking! And there's a convenience fee for buying the tickets! And there's a convenience fee for the inconvenience of having to pay for parking! When our group divided the true cost up, the $10 tickets are $16 a piece. Still cheap for a major league game, but I'm feeling a bit gypped. Oh, well...there's free t-shirts (with $16 admission).

I used the word 'vroom' twice in my expense report to The Boss tonight. I'm starting to question my judgement. The strange thing is I submitted it quickly because I knew I'd question my judgement, and I didn't want to be able to back out of it. Kinda like Tyler Durden in Fight Club. Dangit! I broke Rule #1.

I may have broken the RSS feed in your feed reader. I changed the blog over to a dedicated URL (looky up there!). There's supposed to be a magic box of voodoo in the settings that combines the two feeds into one, but it appears to have broken both of them. It's like having a not-magic box of grits instead. Not awesome.


How do you get to this site? Do you have a feed reader, or do you simply bookmark it? I'd love to know how many of you I lost!
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7 Tips for Taking Your Kids to Their First Baseball Game

I love baseball. So do you (I'm not asking; I'm telling). Chances are your kids do, too.

Here's some tips for you and your kids when going to their first baseball game:

1. If you've got a minor league team, start there. Take the opportunity to meet the stars now, because they'll be too stuck up later. I've met Eric Karros, Mike Piazza and Pedro Martinez when they played for the Albuquerque Dukes. They were all friendly then - now they won't even return my calls.

2. Minor league tickets are cheaper. You'll rarely have to mortgage anything to see a game, but paying for big league tickets can turn a minivan-driving dad into a drug dealer.

3. Let your kids bring their tiny baseball gloves. Not only will they feel important, but they'll have something to protect you with when a line drive heads your way.

4. 25¢ hot dog night. Don't stop until you're too full to waddle to the car!

5. Don't forget to yell 'CHARGE!', or the terrorists win. This applies to The Wave as well.

6. If you jump up to catch a foul ball, take note of where you're going to land. Upon landing, I had a very personal and painful moment with an armrest at the Arizona Diamondbacks stadium. You only forget this tip once!

7. Learn the songs. If you don't know the national anthem or 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame', you're just a fool watching everyone else have fun. And they'll probably put you on the big screen.

What do you love about going to baseball games? What advice would you give others?

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Duking It Out With Pedro Martinez

Baseball was my life as a kid.

I lived in Albuquerque, so we didn't have a major league team.  We had the Dukes, who were the AAA farm team for the Dodgers.

We'd go to every game we could, anxiously bringing our little league gloves in the vain hope of catching a foul ball.  We cheered the home team, booed the umps and ate the hot dogs while watching the sun set on the Sandia mountains. Life was good, but the very best day was the day I met Eric Karros, Mike Piazza and Pedro Martinez.

All us kids* were lined up by the ramp leading from the locker room to the field. The Dukes ran out to start warming up. Some of the players strolled instead so they could meet fans and sign autographs.

Eric Karros and Mike Piazza were big shots. They knew they were headed for the big leagues, so they wouldn't sign autographs. However, they weren't so full of themselves that they wouldn't shake hands and say hello. All the kids were mobbing them, but I noticed one other player standing off by himself. Nobody was crowding Pedro Martinez because he was an unknown with little playing time.

I waltzed over and asked him for his autograph. Or, more accurately, I asked him for his brother's autograph. His brother, Ramón Martinez, was playing for the Dodgers at the time. Pedro didn't speak much English, so it got interesting.

Me: Here! Sign 'Ramón'!

Pedro: *Slapping his chest* Soy Pedro. 

Me: Yeah, yeah, I know. Sign 'Ramón'. 

Pedro: Soy Pedro! 

Me: Sign 'Ramón'!

He signed 'Ramón Martinez'. Then below it he signed 'Pedro Martinez'.

Then he ran on to the field, got traded and became one of the best things to happen to the Boston Red Sox. You're welcome, Baseball.

*Me use good grammar

What sports were you into growing up? Share some stories!

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