I remember the days of yore. Yesterday, the Internet in our corporate apartment was slower than a two-legged dog crawling and yipping it's way through fields of dial-up molasses.
Today the Internet is deader than a used pigeon in a Monty Python sketch, but with less voom. I am writing this post from my phone. Yes, I am that dedicated/can't sleep.
The good news is the smoke detectiveator thingy no go Chirp! no more. Couldn't find a 9 volt at Wal-Mart, but they do happen to stock baseball bats. Handy!
The Tarve came out with a book today. It's the most awesome thing ever I assume since I haven't read it yet. I would give you a link but that seems like work on a phone, even if Steve iCreate Jobs made it. Go to tylertarver.com.
Have you read Jon Acuff's book, Quitter? I'm on my second time through. Doing the audio book this time since he adds extra stuff to the audio versions of his books. It's what I read when I want to feel like I could change the world and actually accomplish something. Usually I just accomplish reading the book, but I feel like a champ while doing so.
This is the part of the post where I end by asking a question that makes you want to leave a comment. Tell me stuff!
.
Chirp!
- You may have to read this post slowly. I'm traveling on business, so it's coming to you long distance...and at dial-up speeds, for some reason. It's quite painful going back in time.
- I wonder how much it would hurt to go back and visit the dinosaurs.
- Especially if they ate me.
- My wife and I each have hand soap by our sinks. We replaced them at the same time. I triumphantly pointed out to my wife that I had run out of mine before she did and therefore washed my hands more than she did. Without missing a beat, she said, "You poop more."
- Team Ricky is getting it's butt whipped over at Rob Shepherd's blog o' pain. You can either go give us some votes, or you can help me rename the team. I'm really dragging us down. If you've already voted, then thanks! Oh, and get to work! I assume you have neighbors and/or coworkers. BADGER THEM!
- Chirp! The fire alarm Chirp! in my room Chirp! is in need of Chirp! a new battery. Chirp! I'm not going to Chirp! get any sleep tonight. Chirp!
Stuff and stuff pancakes and stuff how did you sleep Chirp!?
.
Writing Influences
I was thinking about some of my favorite writing influences the other day, so I put together a short list of just a few of them.
Dave Barry - In tenth grade English class, we had an assignment to write about foods of the world. I forgot about the assignment until 2 AM the morning it was due. I sat on my bedroom floor and floundered for a topic. I decided nachos qualified. So I wrote about some nasty microwaveable nachos I had earlier that day. The paper came back with an A and this note - "You should be the next Dave Barry!" Since I had no idea who that was, I looked him up and got hooked. I even went and saw him in person when he came through town. Sometimes lying to bolster a kid's self esteem has its benefits.
Patrick F. McManus - I consider Pat McManus to be the new Mark Twain. He tells stories of camping, hunting and growing up in Idaho. He can craft a tall tale better than most. I would recommend any of his books, but start with his first - "A Fine and Pleasant Misery". But don't get it at the bookstore. Call the number on his web page and order it. His daughter will answer the phone and tell you, "Honey, do you just want his autograph inside, or do you want it personalized? 'Cause if'n you want it personalized, you'll have to wait till he gets back from campin' again. Ha! He calls it 'research'!"
Terry Pratchett - Pratchett is a master at creating vivid scenes without becoming too wordy. He uses symbolism, parody and satire to great effect. He's well known for using footnotes and witty one liners. In addition to any of his Discworld novels, I recommend the The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld, a collection of his best quips from these novels.
What are some of your writing influences? If you're not a writer, what are some of your favorite authors?
.
Dave Barry - In tenth grade English class, we had an assignment to write about foods of the world. I forgot about the assignment until 2 AM the morning it was due. I sat on my bedroom floor and floundered for a topic. I decided nachos qualified. So I wrote about some nasty microwaveable nachos I had earlier that day. The paper came back with an A and this note - "You should be the next Dave Barry!" Since I had no idea who that was, I looked him up and got hooked. I even went and saw him in person when he came through town. Sometimes lying to bolster a kid's self esteem has its benefits.
Patrick F. McManus - I consider Pat McManus to be the new Mark Twain. He tells stories of camping, hunting and growing up in Idaho. He can craft a tall tale better than most. I would recommend any of his books, but start with his first - "A Fine and Pleasant Misery". But don't get it at the bookstore. Call the number on his web page and order it. His daughter will answer the phone and tell you, "Honey, do you just want his autograph inside, or do you want it personalized? 'Cause if'n you want it personalized, you'll have to wait till he gets back from campin' again. Ha! He calls it 'research'!"
Terry Pratchett - Pratchett is a master at creating vivid scenes without becoming too wordy. He uses symbolism, parody and satire to great effect. He's well known for using footnotes and witty one liners. In addition to any of his Discworld novels, I recommend the The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld, a collection of his best quips from these novels.
What are some of your writing influences? If you're not a writer, what are some of your favorite authors?
.
You're Not Done
Every time I hear him speak, I'm reminded why I love Donald Miller so much.
I was watching a snippet from his Catalyst session, and was floored when I heard him say:
I remember one time a friend had messed up royally. We're not talking small beans here. We're talking - "Hey, I know that guy...why's his mug shot on the news?!?"
He called me the next morning. He was bawling his eyes out, and kept repeating, "It's all over. I've let Him down. It's all over."
I reminded him of David's story.
But God wasn't.
God restored David. Renewed His covenant with him. Then He called him a "man after My own heart".
As I told my friend that day...
It's not over until He says it is.
When has God restored you?
.
I was watching a snippet from his Catalyst session, and was floored when I heard him say:
"There's a good chance that you blew it so bad that the Church can no longer use you.This is a great reminder that God's grace isn't a one-time, use-it-or-lose-it deal. And yet we lose sight of this and think we're finished.
God can. And God will."
I remember one time a friend had messed up royally. We're not talking small beans here. We're talking - "Hey, I know that guy...why's his mug shot on the news?!?"
He called me the next morning. He was bawling his eyes out, and kept repeating, "It's all over. I've let Him down. It's all over."
I reminded him of David's story.
Liar.He was done.
Adulterer.
Murderer.
But God wasn't.
God restored David. Renewed His covenant with him. Then He called him a "man after My own heart".
As I told my friend that day...
It's not over until He says it is.
When has God restored you?
.
Blogging Dream Team Competition
Rob Shepherd and I are squaring off in the first annual Blogging Dream Team Competition today.
It was supposed to be Friday, but he chickened out.
Then it was supposed to be yesterday, but he took a holiday.
Today, Rob has finally gathered the courage to face his peers.
Head on over to Rob's site, and vote for Team Ricky!
.
It was supposed to be Friday, but he chickened out.
Then it was supposed to be yesterday, but he took a holiday.
Today, Rob has finally gathered the courage to face his peers.
Head on over to Rob's site, and vote for Team Ricky!
.
Independence Day
If you've called me twelve times in one day...
If you've left four notes on my desk...
If you've knocked on the server room door twice...
If you've interrupted me while I'm helping the man with his name on the front door...
...all in the same day, then you're too needy.
Go practice some independence!
If you've left four notes on my desk...
If you've knocked on the server room door twice...
If you've interrupted me while I'm helping the man with his name on the front door...
...all in the same day, then you're too needy.
Go practice some independence!
How To Be A Ninja
I think most kids grow up to work dead-end jobs simply because they didn't know how to get to their dream ones.
So this one's for the kids. Every kid has dreamed at one point in their lives of being a ninja.
Fearsome weapons, precision agility, superior debating skills. What's not to like?
Things You Can Do Now To Prepare For Your Future As A Ninja
- Practice stealth. Quiet cunning is what sets ninjas apart from other dangerous men in bathrobes.
- One of my younger brothers was great at this. We'd find him in odd places, sitting quietly. Usually tall places, like on top of bookshelves. He was a climber.
- He also had a knack for disappearing after dinner, but before dishes.
- He still doesn't do dishes.
- Take ballet lessons. This will help you be light on your feet and get used to spinning for all those roundhouse kicks. It will also help you start your list of people you're going to visit once you're a bona fide ninja. They won't be making fun of you then!
- Learn martial arts. I'm not sure which ones, but I hear martial arts are part of this complete ninja.
- Scream at folks unexpectedly. Practice on your parents. Wait until your dad comes home from work. When he leans over to set down his briefcase, jump out from behind the door and yell "Aaiii!" If this doesn't work, try "hiii-ya!"
What tips do you have for the kids?
.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)