Movies I Wish They'd Remake

Hollywood is running out of creativity. They don't know what to do, so they endlessly remake movies that sold well previously.

If they're going to remake movies, I'd rather they remake the ones that need to be remade because they're so dated, not just the ones that did well.

Here's a few movies I wish they'd remake:

• Arsenic and Old Lace
• The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
• Sergeant York
• Who's Minding the Mint?
• To Hell and Back
• Safe at Home!
• The Jackie Robinson Story

I'm sure there's a ton more. What movies do you wish they'd remake?

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How To Be a Movie Star

I think most kids grow up to work dead-end jobs simply because they didn't know how to get to their dream ones.

So this one's for the kids. Every kid has dreamed at one point in their lives of being a movie star.

Beach houses, private jets, rehab. What's not to like?

Things You Can Do Now To Prepare For Your Future As A Movie Star

• Be the center of attention. All the world's a stage - start practicing! Get in front of every camera you can. The tourists will forgive you.
• Meet a lot of people. In show biz, it's not what you know - it's who you know. So you'd better start getting friendly with everyone!
• Practice your scenes. Regularly repeat your conversations with friends and family. Come back into the room and say, "Take 2!" Ask them to help you memorize your lines and hit your marks.
• Get a stunt double. That physical stuff looks way to dangerous! You'll have to have your hired gun do it.
• Dodge the paparazzi. Practice by getting away from people you know. Coworkers, friends, family - pretend they're out to get you. If you really want to hone your skills in this game, try to outrun the ice cream truck the next time it's jingling down your street.
• You should probably do this anyway. Ice cream trucks are creepy.
• It's like some weirdo is fishing for children.
• Get an agent. You can't handle this alone, and thanks to your new mega-paycheck, you won't have to!

What tips do you have for the kids?

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Extra Post, For Free (If You Pay the Price)

Ok, I'm getting my clock cleaned over at Tyler Tarver's site for the Worst Movie Ever competition.

It turns out I care more about this than a healthy human should, but my clock is already shiny and doesn't need more cleaning.

So head over to Tyler's site and vote for my movie, The Stupids.

I promise I'll never ask you for anything ever again, until next time.


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Updates, Odd and Ends

This post may sound a bit different than what you're used to.

You see, I'm out of town right now. I'm in Kansas, once again. So imagine my normal tone, but with a slight drawl and a bit of barbecue sauce.

Also, I'll be posting later in the day than usual because I don't have Internet access until after work, instead of before. So imagine it's just a time zone difference and we'll all be cool like cucumbers.

We went to a Bass Pro shop after work today. It's like the outdoorsman's Mecca. Reminiscent of Cabela's, but with its own fishing pond and restaurant. It was like a Mountain Man Mall, which I just made up and feel quite proud of myself for doing so.

I'm in a fight for my life. Tyler Tarver is hosting a tournament to decide The Worst Movie Ever, and I've made it to the Elite 8. My movie is The Stupids. I'm tied with the movie Knowing, for some unknown reason. Clearly The Stupids is a much worse movie*. Please go to Tyler's site and vote for The Stupids. This week, we were asked to write a defense of our opponents, so please don't be confused by what I wrote. You want to vote for The Stupids. I'm going to use this sentence as another excuse to use the phrase "vote for The Stupids".

In conclusion, I think children are the future and we should really work to preserve the baby wails.


* The Stupids is one of my top five favorite movies of all time. But that doesn't mean it's not an awful movie!




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