The Haggerty Brothers would make a good name for a bluegrass band.
The hard part would be finding some brothers named Haggerty.
Enter Kevin and Stephen. Brothers by birth, bloggers by night.
They've taken the blogging world by storm. They're everywhere, like [insert bad analogy here].
They're apparently two separate people, but do you know how long it took me to figure this out? An embarrassingly long time, that's how long.
And since I still get them mixed up, I thought I'd take the time to get to know them better by interviewing them.
At the same time.
And no, they didn't know it was happening this way. I like surprises, especially on other people.
Below are my questions, with their answers. Try to guess who's answer is whose and I don't like grammar no more.
Winner gets a guest post from Joseph Craven, whom's generously donated an answer to one of the questions below that one of the Haggerty brothers forgot to answer. Also, you may want to ask him first since he doesn't know he's giving away a guest post. Also, all of you win.
1. Sorry, you'll have to remind me - which Haggerty brother are you?
I'm the one who trained my entire life in the forbidden art of Goju-ryu Ninjitsu. I can kill in one million different ways.
The one with the over-pronounced crazy eye and misdirected swagger.
2. Why are you the best Haggerty brother?
That's a tough question. Clearly, I am, or else you wouldn't have asked, but it's like explaining why I'm the most powerful superhero. Haggerty brothers are like superheroes. Yes. This is the analogy I am sticking with.
Why am I the best? I'd have to say it's either my cunning wit or the cut of my jib. I also have better eyebrows. Next question.
I try to look at it like an Eli/Peyton situation... neither's really better, per se. Both were in the Double-Stuff Oreo commercials a while back, both like to air it out against the dime, both have benefited from impressive offensive lines at some point in time- wait what was the question?
3. How many total Haggerty spawn are there?
Seven, at last count.
Have you ever seen a picture of a picture of a picture of a picture of a picture of a picture? It's exactly like that. (7 kids. My sister is thinking about starting a blog, and if she does, we're legally changing our last name to "Bloggerty." 100% seriously.)
4. Why or why not?
My Parents really, really, really like each other.
5. What's your favorite sock?
I try to keep a knee-high athletic sock at my disposal at all times. You never know when you're going to need to fill it with quarters and go all "Homey the Clown" on a fool. Word?
I only trust leather, anymore. (That's sorta become my motto in any situation.)
6. The best comic strip ever is?
This is another tough one, because I've always thought most comic strips are not funny at all. I generally walk away from reading a comic strip with a sense of wonder over how that author/artist is able to get work. If I had to choose between reading the comic strip every day and cutting my leg off with a nail file, I may strongly kick around the idea of how well I could operate on one leg.
7. What's the worst injury you ever had?
I broke my collarbone when I was about ten. I was trying to do a flip on the tile floor foyer walkway in our house. It ended badly. Broken collarbones are pretty brutal because it means you have to sleep on your back. Everything hurts.
Over-inflated sense of self-worth.
8. I'm afraid of heights. Are you also afraid of heights, or are you insane?
I am not afraid of heights, nor am I insane. I like to challenge myself as often as possible. I've not yet ever gone skydiving or bungee jumping, but I hope to remedy this before I die.
No. ...Oh wait- I just read the rest of the question... yes- very afraid! Me and you are twins.
9. Lawn ornaments. Discuss.
I've always been of the "less is more" camp. People should be able to tell the difference between when you are having a yard sale and when you are not.
Legalize those turkeys!
10. Will you be my minion?
Some of your words became switched around in this email. You may want to check your computer for viruses. But yes, I humbly accept your offer to be my minion. I'll send over a list of responsibilities ASAP. Good choice on your part.
11. What's one thing you're really proud of?
My minion, Ricky Anderson. He's super obedient and a positive reflection on the type of discipline I seek to instill in those around me in need of greater wisdom.
I'm also proud of my wife, probably more than anything. She's awesome, and I don't ever want to lose sight of how lucky I am that she chose me back.
My ability to teach others how to Dougie.
12. What's your favorite Christmas present ever?
I remember getting a Sega Genesis when I was kid and thinking that was pretty much the awesomest thing ever. Do you remember Street Fighter? That game caused many a fight in the Haggerty household. Not virtual fights, that's a given. Literal fights. "Ha-dooo-ken!!!!!"
That time my dad, Jimmy Stewart, came home after a hallucination and realized what a wonderful life he actually had. Presents were tops that year!!!
13. Anything you'd like to plug?
My website, www.theisleofman.net. It's a growing community where people come and read my posts, then comment about how awesome they are. In all seriousness, I'd love for as many people as possible to come over and join the party. We have a good time.
I have an e-book coming out soon that is called: "An Idiot's Guide to the Galaxy." I plan on releasing it for free to my e-mail subscribers. People are going to love it...and hate it.
I'd also love for people to follow me on Twitter. I say some pretty cool stuff there on a regular basis.
Things I desperately want to un-plug: 1) The auto-tune machine... enough already! 2) Joan Rivers (robot), 3) The next reality show attempting to incorporate a board room, product pitches, and/or Gary Busey.
Wow. I'm still having trouble telling them apart.