Flights to Kansas City, Part 1

I always get to sit next to the interesting folks on the flight to Kansas City.  I've done it fourteen times now, and I've had an adventure almost every time.

The return flights are usually normal.  I attribute this to the fact I'm headed home.

This time, I noticed he smelled funny, and so of course he picked the seat next to me.

"I used to do crack, but now I just smoke pot."

"Um, hi."

I was fishing around in my bag for my headphones, but it was too late.

"I'm a musician", he continued.  "And a stand-up comedian."

"That's cool."  Where were my headphones?

"Wanna hear some of my stuff?"

"Actually, I was just going to, um..."


And then he proceeded to tell me dead Haitian jokes.

Lots of them.  After each joke, he asked me what I thought.


"No, not really."

"I see.  Is it too soon?"

"Well, since they're still finding the bodies and digging through the rubble...yes."

"But other than the timing, they're funny?"

"Sorry, no."

"That's OK.  I'm going to my girlfriend's house tonight.  She lives in a mansion and grows pot in the basement.  We're going to smoke it tonight."

"I figured."

"I used to be an electrical engineer."

"What happened?"

"I'm free, man, I'm free."

"That makes sense."

"Maybe when I'm fifty."

"Yeah, I'd wait until then."

"For what, man?"