Life Lessons

Winners Never Quit

Mom:  What's wrong, Honey?
Me:  My baseball team stinks.  We never win!
Mom:  Well, you're just trying to have fun.
Me:  It's not fun!  I hate losing all the time.  I should just quit.
Mom:  Winners never quit!
Me:  Of course they don't.  I wouldn't quit if I was winning, either.  But if they did quit, then maybe I could win!

Hard Work Builds Character

Dad:  Go pull some weeds.
Me:  Why?
Dad:  It builds character.
Me:  I have character.
Dad:  You need to build some more character.
Me:  My younger brothers should go build some character.  I have enough character!
Dad:  You can never have enough character.  Now go pull weeds before you get a spanking.
Me:  Are you coming with me?
Dad:  Nope!
Me:  But you need to build character!
Dad:  I have enough character.

Don't Take Advantage of Others

Drunk Old Guy in the small town cafe my family was eating lunch in:  Oh, there's the kids!  I see the kids!  God loves the kids!
*Stumbles over to our table*
Drunk Old Guy:  Hi kids!  Do you want somethin' ta eat?  Here's a dolla...a dollar for each of you's!
*My older sister and younger brothers timidly accept the bills.  Mine has already been transferred to a safer spot, hidden under my plate.*
Mom:  All right kids, give the nice gentlemen his money back.
Siblings:  Ok, here you go.
Me:  What money?
*The old guys' friends are helping him to the door*
Mom:  The dollar he gave you.  Give it back.
Me:  I don't think he gave me one.
*Mom points to my plate.  She never fell for my magic tricks, either*
Mom:  Now.
Me:  But he gave it to me!
Mom:  Give.  It.  Back.  Now!
*I grudgingly follow the Drunk Old Guy to the door*
Me:  Here you go, Sir.
Drunk Old Guy:  It's the kids!
Drunk Old Guy's Friend:  Here, take this.  The kid's giving you your dollar back.
Drunk Old Guy:  Such a sweet kid.  Hey everbody!  The kid's givin' me a dolla!