Using Your Toddler For Fun and Profit

Our waitress wasn't her usual happy self.

That's the sun. And a tractor. He was adamant.

She didn't smile as she seated us, not even at Evan as he pointed at each bulbous light in the empty dining room and squealed, "HI, BALLOON!"

"She's sad, Evan. You'd better flirt with her so she's happy enough to bring us the good food and not the heat lamp leftovers."

"Train choo-choo fishy Uncle Bob drive?"

"Exactly, Son."

When she came around to take our order, Evan snagged one of her many dangling bracelets.

"Pretty?", he asked as he stared up at her.

"Aw, thank you!"

Evan pointed to the order pad she held in her other hand. "Please paper pen drawing?"

"You want to draw on my order pad with my pen?"

"Thank you, okay!"

"Oh, well...I guess since you thought I was offering..."

We got the desired smiles from our waitress.

And the good food.

What have you used your (or someone else's) toddler for?