Life Advice for Joseph Craven

Last week, Joseph Craven gave my two-week-old son Evan some great life advice. In the comments of that post, Mysie suggested Evan should return the favor due to his 'fresh perspective' on life.

Since he has a lot of time and/or poo on his hands, Evan was more than happy to comply.

Here's a few tips Evan has for Joseph:
  • Sleep all the time. People will think it's peaceful and cute. They will want to shelter you, protect you and take your picture to put on Facebook.
  • Relieve yourself. On yourself. Often. When it smells bad enough, someone else will take care of it for you. After they've cleaned you up, they'll probably feed you and take your picture to put on Facebook.
  • When you're hungry, just squawk a bit. People with food are on standby 24/7, waiting on your demands. After feeding you, they'll probably rock you and take your picture to put on Facebook.
  • Look cute. This shouldn't be hard to do, what with the manly beard you wear on that baby face, Joseph. In fact, I've heard from more than a few people that they want to take your picture to put on Facebook.
I hope these life tips help you become even more awesome, Joseph. And in the interest of full disclosure, I will come clean and admit that I typed this, not Evan. He just narrated. He has a hard time typing, what with those mittens and all.

What other life advice did Evan give Joseph, but I rudely forgot to include?