Conversations With a One-Year-Old

This is how typical conversations with my son go when it's just me and him for the day.

My wife: Bye! Have a good day, you two!

Me: Bye, Babe!

Evan: Bye, Babe!

Me: That's my line. Want some breakfast?

Evan: Milk?

Me: Yes, you can have some milk with breakfast. I think we keep the organic milk shysters in business. Their milk is "special" because their cows are made of dirt.

Evan: Cow!


Me: Ok, we're done with breakfast. Want to go to the grocery store to knock a few items off Momma's list?

Evan: Momma!

Me: Ok, here we are. We need apples, grapes, bananas and milk.

Evan: Apples? Grapes? Manas? Molk?

Me: Close enough. Ready to check out? Can you tell the nice lady 'thank you'?

Evan: Ank you!

Checkout Lady: Aww, how cute! How old are you?

Evan: Car!

Me: He has no idea.

Checkout Lady: Well, you're adorable. Have a great day!

Evan: Bye, Babe!

What are you looking at?