If you're a manager and you're having trouble figuring out how to delegate, just have someone else do it.
Lesson learned: thinking that working 10 days straight gives you the right to leave early ensures the server going bleh and you coming back.
I'm out of sorts. I used to have a lot, but I used them up last week.
You would think Toys R Us would be a happy place for kids, but all I usually hear are hollering and screams of anguish.
When signing up for insurance plans at work, do you ever get overwhelmed and just choose the middle option? Oh, me neither then.
Dentist: You have nice teeth.
Me: Thank you. *Awkward silence*
Me: You have nice gloves.
I'm thankful to my wife for always giving me my haircuts. Just think of all the money she's saved me over the ears.
Halfway through filling out an online form at work, I saw a link to change my name. You know, in case I started as Ricky and finished as Tawanda McPhee.
Is it a problem if when you sneeze, your left arm goes numb?
What do you look for in a robot?